WittingPolyamory

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Third day in BC…first day at Pemberton Music Festival!

So if you’re wondering why I’m not posting anything, aside from not having poly stuff to post, that’s the reason.

On the flip side, if any of you are in Pemberton this weekend, or Vancouver early next week, feel free to say hey. :)

See What Your Followers Think Of You

  •  = You’re my tumblr crush.
  •  = I love your blog.
  • ✄ = I love you.
  • Σ = Scared to talk to you
  •  = You’re hot.
  • ☁ = You’re beautiful.
  • ☂ = You should check out my blog.
  • ♕ = You inspire me.
  • ♔ = I wish we talked.
  • ☯ = I wish we were friends in real life.
  • ♋ = I wish you were my mate.
  • ♫ = I really think about you ALOT
  • ✖ = You’re ugly.
  • ☢ = I don’t like you.
  • ✡ = I hate you.
  • ☠: Your blog sucks, bitch.
Inbox Me Symbols 

I really need to get some more things happening in my dating life so I have more to post on here other than reblogging memes from my main blog or my sex blog.

And, yet, this remains my blog with the most followers.

(Source: sayspider)

My Life on OkCupid

psychophancy:

Send copy/paste messages to women who are terrible matches.

-receive tons of enthusiastic responses-

Send thoughtfully written, highly personalized messages to women who are 99% matches.

-cricket sounds-

image

I don’t send copy/paste messages to anyone, but it does seem I have an easier time getting interest from women who are terrible matches.

From this I can only assume that I have the misfortune of being good matches with women with good taste. :P

Jul 6

psychophancy:

sadoeconomist:

psychophancy:

chipsz:

How would monogamous people feel if we boiled their concept of love down to just sex?

"Oh, you’re monogamous? Well, I guess you’re just not ready for a real relationship.”

"Monogamy? That never works out. Every monogamous relationship I’ve heard about has ended in a breakup or someone dying."

"I had one friend one time who had a monogamous relationship and it turned out to be a complete disaster."

Jul 5

youtubekillsme:

Do I Actually Have a Crush On You Or Do I Just Like That You’re Nice to Me and Cute: a novel by me

I do crush on a lot of people, but I will totally admit just how far “Being nice to me” will go with me sometimes, even fairly superficial niceness. It is a problem sometimes.

Jul 4

Venting About Poly-Mono Partnerships Doing It BADLY

notgreenpaint:

So last night I went to a friend’s house (not a super close friend but a con friend I’ve hung out with outside cons a handful of times). He’s poly and his gf is mono, though they’ve had a threesome that went well and he seems convinced she’ll be comfortable with other poly-ish things at some point. I think he’s deluding himself.

He was cuddling with his gf in the bed while we watched a movie, and he raised his arm in invitation to cuddle me as well.

Read More

I’ve seen this scenario play out more times than I’d like to count.

It is like - check to see if everyone is comfortable. And if someone isn’t comfortable, adjust what you are doing, don’t just bully on through figuring they’ll get used to it in time.

Polyamory isn’t like some kind of emotional hardening where you just have to make your partners feel bad enough times and they’ll toughen up to it. What helps people feel comfortable in poly relationships is if you demonstrate to them repeatedly and consistently that you care about them and their feelings, and that you’ll think about them before doing things that might make them uncomfortable.

And all of that only works if they actually want to be poly, of course.

Sorry you had to deal with that incident, notgreenpaint, that sounds uncomfortable to go through suffice it to say.

turklet:

i currently have a crush on 94 people at the same time 

Yeah, pretty much.

For me, sometimes polyamory is all about having an absolutely gorgeous girlfriend, yet still feeling all kinds of undesirable because I’ve never made out with a stranger in a nightclub.

Weird, eh?

Stop saying sorry. Say thank you instead. When you say, “sorry for being a jerk” the other person is forced to either call you a jerk or say it wasnt a big deal. Instead, say “thank you for being so being so patient with me” so the other person has a reason to say they love you.

-

I saw this gem on Reddit tonight.  It was posted under a topic of “What ‘little’ things you can do to improve your relationship with your significant other.”  I’m definitely taking this piece of advice with me into my next relationship.   (via brittanyjoyal)

I should work on things like this.. >< 

(via daddysgamergirl)

This is highly excellent advice.

mythscomealive:

wittingpolyamory:

pervocracy:

Not a fan of “why do we need love triangles?  they could all just be poly!”

- Not everyone wants to be/can be poly. Some people are monogamous or celibate and that’s okay.  Even when it’s inconvenient, it’s okay.

- If two people are deadly jealous rivals, they’re probably not going to make great co-partners.  More likely they’re going to have a lot of “I think you spend more time with her! what if she likes you more?!?” issues.

- I’ve seen people try to use poly as a “solution” to cheating or an inability to commit.  It doesn’t end well.  Poly is a relationship style unto itself, not a patch to fix your monogamy problems.

- From an outside-the-fourth-wall perspective: it can be objectifying.   Especially when it’s a man and two women forming the triangle, it can have implications less of “I love you both” and more of “I won both prizes, and hey fellas, threesomes!”  I think a writer in a mainstream setting would have to do a lot of effort to avoid this implication.

-

I do think it would be cool to see poly groups in the media.  I just don’t want them to be presented as handy-dandy “why choose?” solutions.

Besides, I think folks doing the “why choose?” are missing out on a critical part of polyamory anyways:

Poly people still have to choose.

Polyamory means more than one love…it doesn’t mean all the loves. No one has freaking time to love everyone they could love! I see so many poly people hit trouble after awhile because they go “Great, I’m poly, I never have to turn down a romantic connection again!” and then it is a huge slap in the face when they realize just how wrong it is. Indeed, sometimes it seems the choices are harder, because they rely more on good judgement and impulse control than just following a societal script.

So when I see people go “Polyamory is the solution to having to choose!” I’m just like, facepalming. Polyamory isn’t a freaking solution to a problem, it is its own thing.

While I am inclined to agree with your general point- in that polyamory is a serious and not-universal thing, not a plot device to prevent your characters from making serious and realistic choices- I would like to make the point that I wish polyamory was considered in stories,rather than immediately disregarded, or worse, never even thought of.

Oh, absolutely. I do agree here.

But my take is…well, my attitude towards poly in media is much the same as poly in action:

Consider polyamory for its own sake, because you think it’d work, because you like it, because monogamy doesn’t have to be the default.

Don’t consider polyamory as a solution to your monogamy problems.